Do you see this precious face to the right? This is my second-born. He is two and a half years old and ALL boy. As a good country boy should be, he's into trucks, tractors and the great outdoors. He has stolen my heart since day one and is truly the sweetest two year old I've ever met. He "blesses" people when they cough. It's rare that he forgets to say "thank you" when you hand him an object. He carries around three special friends, Blueky, Sugar Bear and Sammie. Blueky and Sammie are dogs and Sugar Bear...well, he's a bear, of course. These are his "favorites" as he will tell you with much seriousness. He loves his big sister (even though she aggravates him relentlessly) and he adores his little "brover" (brother.) He is one fourth of my entire heart and I love him immensely. About 3 months ago, right before Christmas, I realized that he was snoring pretty loudly when he slept. I didn't think much about it as we all had a bit of sinus congestion with the changing Mid-south weather. But when we took a trip to spend Christmas with my husband's family and he napped in the van, I became concerned as his breathing was quite labored. I took him to see the pediatrician. One look at the back of his mouth and I heard, "His tonsils are huge. Probably the biggest I've seen on a child that age. Let's do a round of antibiotics and see if that helps. If not, you'll need to see an ENT." Okay... that sounds easy enough. 10 days later, no change and the next morning we awoke to him running a fever of 104. Back to the pediatrician we went and came back with a diagnosis of tonsillitis and another (stronger) prescription to try and knock out the infection. Meanwhile, I made an appointment to see the ENT and upon seeing him, I again heard (this time from a specialist who sees these all day long,) "They're massive. They need to come out immediately. I don't know how this boy is even eating." Bless his sweet heart. He rarely has complained through this entire ordeal and I know it must be painful. So almost a whole month of continuous antibiotic treatment has seen us through, helping to keep the infection down until surgery day. Which is this Thursday, Valentine's Day. We check in at 6am and he's second in line. I will be able to be with him when he goes to sleep and in recovery before he wakes up. The doctor described it as a common, low-risk, 30 minute procedure and while my mommy heart knows these things, the words that roll around in my heard are "IV, anesthesia, trach..." I am nervous. I dread seeing him laying on that hospital bed not knowing what in the world is going on. I'm dreading it mostly because it forces me to face my frailty and human helplessness and cleave to the God who created him and has him right inside the palm of His hand. I have no choice but to put complete and total trust in the God I serve. The Lord led me to some Scriptures as I was reading and searching a couple of mornings ago and these are the ones I've been meditating on since...
First, to gain a proper understanding of faith we must remember,
...whatever is not from faith is sin. Romans 14:23
Cursed is the man who trusts in man and makes flesh his strength, whose heart departs from the LORD. Jeremiah 17:5
If I fail to wholeheartedly trust in the Lord, not just now, but always, I fall short of God's standard. Chew on that one awhile.
Then the Lord led me to several other Scriptures that remind of us of His ever-nearness and the promise of His love.
The LORD your God is in your midst, the Mighty One, will save; He will rejoice over you with gladness, He will quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing. Zephaniah 3:17
Have I not commanded you? Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go. Joshua 1:9
You will keep him in perfect peace those whose mind is stayed on You because he trusts in You. Isaiah 26:3
Are not two sparrows sold for a copper coin? And not one of them falls to the ground apart from your Father's will. But the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Do not fear therefore; you are of more value than many sparrows. Matthew 10:29-31
Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, yes, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. Isaiah 41:10
Some trust in chariots, and some in horses, but we will remember the name of the LORD our God. Psalm 20:7
And with those precious words rolling through this mommy's heart as she places her oldest son in the hands of a surgeon, I will choose to intentionally remember that I am ultimately placing him right where he should be - safe in the arms of an everlasting, faithful God.
Until next time...
