Oh gracious. Has it really been a whole YEAR since my last post?! I am shocked, but not surprised as MUCH, and I mean MUCH has happened in our little family since. The last time I posted was an announcement that we were expecting blessing #3 and praise the Lord, our second little man did arrive on April 22 of this year and by God's grace was delivered with no complications in the comfort of our home. It was by far the most amazing experience of my life...but that's another post for another day. ;-)
For today though...
Moms... do you ever have those days when you have a 4 year old who throws a fit about everything, a 2 year old who screams each time he's "mothered" by the 4 year old and a nursing 7 month old who really just likes to be held by mommy even though mommy desperately needs to put him down and get caught up on the housework that is still there after correcting behavior all morning? If that wasn't a run-on sentence I'd hate to see one...but you get my drift. I honestly LOVE my life as an {almost} stay at home mom. I love hearing them laugh as they run and play in the backyard. I love seeing them learn as we school at home. I love the snuggle times with a 2 year old boy after nap time when he's still a bit drowsy. I love it all. But sometimes, despite the wonderful intentions I have of waking early before the older ones wake, the little one is fussy in the night and I sleep through my alarm. Then a quick read of God's Word, a review of some Scripture memory and a desperate prayer for strength finds me on my feet running full steam ahead for another day in the life. When it's almost 3 o'clock in the afternoon and I am still wondering if I'm getting a shower today or what in the world we're eating for dinner. When there's toilet bowl cleaner actually in the toilets but somehow between putting it in there and going back to scrub them I got distracted. When there's a sweet husband's rack of work clothes that need to be ironed. When there's a pile of laundry on the couch that needs folding. Do you ever have those days? Days that seem to never end? Days when you just count down the hours until daddy gets home to take his place in the trenches with you? Parenting is so much harder than I ever expected it to be. I find myself desperately asking God for wisdom, which is what he tells us to do (James 1:5) but I don't want to just pray in desperation. I want to pray in adoration. I miss the quiet, intimate times with the Lord that I used to have. I want to do more than just survive these years. There must be a way to thrive here. I open that precious book that is life itself to me and read in Psalm 73:
"Truly God is good to Israel, to such as are pure in heart. But as for me, my feet had almost stumbled; my steps had nearly slipped. For I was envious of the boastful, when I saw the prosperity of the wicked..."
{skip to verse 21}
"Thus my heart was grieved, and I was vexed in my mind...Nevertheless I am continually with You; You hold me by your right hand. You will guide me with Your counsel, and afterward receive me into glory. Whom have I in heaven but You? And there is none upon earth I desire besides You. My flesh and my heart may fail; but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever...But it is good for me to draw near to God; I have put my trust in the Lord God, that I may declare all your works."
And with that my soul is satisfied. He is here. He sees. He is holding me by His right hand. I will rest in that promise and keep trudging on with my heart set on Him.
Now to get that sweet crying baby from the crib in the next room...
Until next time...
